Filed under: thoughtful trips
I wanted this at a much faster pace than was currently available. I wanted some sanguine notion of ease and wealth that would dovetail with the concurrent harsh reality of a blind man struggling to cross a busy street. It would seem convienient if this was a simple morality ploy, the kind where some mongoloid is congratulated for putting forth the effort rather than a more results based orientation. I have long disdained that kind of thinking , mainly because the focus seems wrong. Philosophically, why bother coming up with the ends if what matters is the means? That whole hippy bullshit argument, paraphrased with foolhardy quotes usually capped of with “it’s the journey not the destination” is psychotic. You can find the same baseless calculas in much of the pop psychology currently in vogue throughout the lands. Again, why pick an ending if the transient journey is the storehouse of value?
I emphasize this only to illustrate a greater point that has been busy encapsulating every attempt to alter the baseline fundamentals that seem to coagulate suddenly, and without notice. This kind of alternating current of dualistic tendencies is a constant source of irritation. Frustration mounts, plans are developed only to be tossed aside due to any number of issues and polemics taken as gospel but revealed as mere marketing. The results feel washed up. Somewhere, a battery is leaking acid and new rules are being proposed to curtail whatever unkempt theology remains, still masquerading as the newest of the new. It isn’t anything of the sort. Lacking identifiable characteristics does not, and never will, constitute the same breath of fresh air as a truly innovative challenge to the status quo. Does it really matter? Unknown, but it could go either way.
Maybe the real delineation of these hideous problems is yet to come. It would hardly be the first time I was late to the party, and the esoteric nature of any kind of conversion process makes it difficult to ascertain the boundries between status quo and newly designated policy changes. In many ways, it is mostly a contrivance of related issues. Without more work on articulation, nothing makes sense, and as communication falters the process continues to move on, feeding the disconnect between sensation and illumination. Sooner or later a breathless face peers back from polished glass and insists that whatever the risks of cross contamination, there is a fundamental requirement that things settle into a comfortable new regime before anything else can upset the applecart.
Between the hordes of people feeding off of the scraps tossed around by as of yet non-desolate ideological soldiers and the distinct feeling that something wretched and distorted has entered the building in the guise of a helpful interpreter, this is more of a bind than can be dispelled by words or ideas. From whence does this cancer grow? Also unknown, but its existence is verified by the typographic conundrums vying for attention from the Panglossian crowd. Proposals are proffered, but without the time or money to study the situation, chance alternatives become life lines to the nether. Reflected coronae begin to look more and more like the sun, a mistake that can only be compounded by acceptance of the image as such.
Trepidation is isolated in moments with enough time to ponder fate as well as the leftover energy to spur curious transactions unconfirmed by notation. Pertinent statistics suggest a rebalancing is in the wings of the day. Hounded by the temptation of something newly aquired, one can only wonder what the “something” is. Turning the vapid logic inward towards the middle of the guts and gore, finding some glint or gleam transferable into foreknowledge of whats to come. Rarely does it make much sense to attempt circumnavigations of the known mono-verse without some kind of deeply rooted desire to see where the road goes. At this precise moment, it is the destination, and not the journey.
Now if only the destination could reveal itself; even a posthumous elegy would suffice. Desperation never accomplishes anything except more desperation. We’ll wait for the storm to clear before setting off. Now what?
