batman’s sister speaks in platitudes…

I must be easily influenced. More likely, I just talk to much. While peace reigns here for the beginning of the weekend, there are disruptions in the air and the taste of salt and cigarettes in the air. Why this moment of doubt? Why all these rumors of storms still not clouding the late afternoon sky? Out of all the voices clamoring for some kind of enthusiastic washing away of the sins, why doesn’t someone tell them there aren’t any sins? I want to scream like a banshee running around the hallways of my memory palace, and stomp my feel, and throw glass objects at stone walls just to see if it is even possible to WAKE UP someone to discuss all of this with. Mostly I want to know why it seems so easy to pull away from all of the bullshit psychosis yet seems so physically daunting. This kind of selective perception is killing my spirit. How in the world do you recruit the mind to see might rather than are?

There is an easy answer to this question. The truth of the matter is that I don’t like this answer, and that in this specific instance, the easy way out is as dangerous as the Protestants say it is. (Score one for the theists. They seem to need it, especially lately in this granfalloon. Although, these things have a way of balancing out.) The easy answer would be to admit that my perspective, my orientation, my internal logic is simply wrong, and I take more than my fair share from the world around me. Like I said, not a pleasant option mentally or spiritually. I call this the easy option because it represents a nonstrategic defeat. (OK, before you read on, the next part is one of the driving factors of my internal logic. My filters on what I see and hear.)

I get the impression that most people do not consider defeat a “good” alternative to any given situation. This is a failure to see the big picture. Defeat is only loss if it is not planned out as a strategic method of dealing with a short term problem by altering a given situation to better serve a long term goal. This is applicable to any given situation, and it is a relatively simple way to choose from a range of actions/reactions in response to stimuli. One example is George Washington commanding the Continental Army. His ultimate goal was indeed to defeat the British, but the disadvantages to overcome were fierce. The strategy became one of survival, of choosing retreat and defeat anytime the risk of being overun by the better equiped and trained British Army. Instead, Washington always put the fight on his terms. By staying alive, and keeping a modicum of the Army intact, Washington was able to slowly alter the landscape, aided by the introduction of the French on behalf of the new Republic. In the end, Washington received the surrender of the last British troops arrayed against him, and the war was won. (I am greatly oversimplifying the story of the American Revolution, but I believe the gist is correct.) On the individual level, one example would be choosing to lose an argument to prove a greater point, or perhaps aid in a future discussion, or establishing trust with another person. It is representational action, seeing the possibility of the future and acting towards what is desired rather than what is established. Baby, things change.

This being the case, a non-strategic defeat is a defeat resulting from poorly planned strategy, or without an eye toward longer term ipmlications, or simply making poor choices, or etc. It is defeat without any redeeming value to the individual. A good example of this would be drawing a firearm at a cop. Best case scenario, you die instantly. Worst case, the end is the same but it takes a lot longer, and more people are hurt. So, with that established, back to my origional point about my own beliefs. In this case, admitting I was wrong would not end the problems, only excacerbate them. Without some kind of perspective, I’d just stand in the corner and drool. That’s only one step from being a greeter at a Wal-Mart. Since I need some kind of context, it’s a lot easier to stick with what I have than come u with a new one. Besides, that would be something close to brainwashing yourself, and the mind doesn’t partition like a hard drive.

That being the case, my origional complaint is still unresolved. Waiting for an answer is proving to be rather futile, and as noted, trying to wake up the somnombulent is not going well either. The worst part, or at least the most frustrating part is I’ve been down this songline before. I had a brilliant professor a few years back, and we had some great philosophical discussions trying to establish the best method of building some kind of artificial consenses on the nature of singular ideas. I was never convinced there was single method, let along any singular idea (nature abhors a vacuum, right?) but the notion was fascinating. Eventually, we ended up talking about the socialization process of differentiation, and how it is influenced to a great degree by the individual response to authority. I let you guess what I think of most authority, but perhaps you can see the connection. Baby, some things don’t ever change.

So, all that aside, my mind is kind of blown at this point. Near as I can tell, my reaction to the last seven days of life is as close to neutral as I can get. I can’t decide if that reresents catharsis or indecisiveness. Well, it ain’t an either/or proposition. More like answering every question with “maybe.” That’s one of those situations that makes everyone want to find someplace else to be.

This was not supposed to be one of those long, drawn-out, introspective moment. Things were pretty clear earlier today, at least in regards to the philosophy issues. I never should have smoked that last cigarette. Batman’s sister speaks in platitudes. I’m not sure if thats a disorder or even a conscious action, but it got me thinking about my own reactions to life over the last few months. One of those slowly building notions of horror, repulsed by something shapeless and dark, rose up from my stomach. There are times when the line between clarity of thought and imagination is really blurred. What was I supposed to do? Does anyone remember?

One Response to “batman’s sister speaks in platitudes…”

  1. “This kind of selective perception is killing my spirit. How in the world do you recruit the mind to see might rather than are?”~~~~Right back atcha

    You are looking to be right, to have your thoughts be accepted with total disregard for others, to use the analytical method to obliterate faith lol…
    These sort of things could drive one mad dear sir, mad I tell you…

    I do find it fascinating the introspection. Could it be that you are looking for absolutes? Could it be that your mind can’t accept two plausible ideas at once to be true? Could it?
    Interesting read…

    I recall where I was on that day…strange

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