don’t look now…

first light”

you wanna hit or get hit?
speedball’s
ready to go. in a few
minutes none of this is
gonna matter, but
don’t worry ’bout a thing.
don’t think it’s dangerous
just ’cause that actor died,
he didn’t have our luck,
plus i heard he was depressed.

well, tell yourself whatever
the fuck you want,
it doesn’t make any difference.
what’ll be done is done.
i’ve heard it said
a man can’t go in
2 directions at the same time.
whoever said that never slowly sped
over indifferent passion. probably
some asshole strugglin’ to
find a reason not to beat
his old lady, not to miss his
appointment with his PO,
that kind of thing. you’ll
love it.

never 50/50 the mix,
down pulls harder than up,
you have to compensate with more ups
but not less downs. you know what
fuck it, i’m gonna
dump everything i got into this,
if you get scared remember,
we’re too lucky to die,
and you have health insurance.
that’s good as gold these days,
equivalent to one or two resuscitations
per covered member, per annum. if
anything, i’m surprised you waited
this long.

before we begin;
you may notice rapid changes
in heart rate. simply ignore that.
here’s a pen and paper, in case your mind
won’t stop revving,
any last doubts?

guess we’ll do you first;
ain’t no rookie prepping
for me, you’ll be too far gone
to know for sure,
and if you want it I need it.

welcome to that minute
when we contemplate sobriety;
how easy it is to kill off.
ever felt such a long minute?
with the engine revvin’,
bedsheets at double backs,
we’re ready to go.

just let it roll up your arm
to your shoulder.
inside your shoulder down
your back. spreading from your
back to your legs. dancing
up the spine to the mind. this road
dead ends at Descartes plus one;
better known as you.

kid never knew what hit her;
he knew. the high
was fantastic; the low
was totally worth it.

———————————————————
Much longer than originally intended, sorry, I am a wordy motherfucker at times. Also, if you stop breathing in the second to last stanza, remember to start again. (That sounds like I’m full of myself, but if anyone is personally familiar with the subject matter at hand, they probably get what I mean.) Not really dedicating this one, and every last word is wrong, (FF&D and all, can’t get caught if you’ve done nothing wrong. Big believer in that last one.)

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