cross purposes…

theoretical framework

i’m not even sure it was a surprise.
sure as shit makes it easier to
swallow, even though nobody believes
that. i told my guy in the mirror;
he responded with a smile dipped in
irony & contempt.

finding myself forcibly shoved back
against my defenses could be
considered a cold-water wakeup.
having constructed psychic defenses
to protect me from exactly this
sort of thing. nothing special
about that, unexceptional
almost to an extreme.

turned around enough times,
you’re stealing from your own
kitchen; breaking locks off
your bedroom door; ripping
blankets off of your own bed.
that ain’t sleeping tight; maybe
you ain’t sleepin’ at all.

and then we’re turning again.
events return to a hushed calm every
bit as quickly as calm evaporated
into paroxysms of quaking shock. either
in front of the walls or behind
doesn’t matter much; reconstructed
Maginot Line style defense won’t work;
try something else.

Waiting for word, wondering how much
to gamble and how much to save. Ever
dependent on such dissimilar factors,
weighted ratios, compelling interest,
that sort of thing; so much crawling
goes into that first step.

7 Responses to “cross purposes…”

  1. compact and cool!

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