scorpions & fireflies…

better now

I’ve no time to spend
thinking backwards;
there’s nothing gained continuously
exploring everything that
already happened.
time-to-time, someone grabs
my shoulder from behind;
blinking-eyes desperate
for some recognition of
character & plot-twists to
stare back at them.

sometimes, the face is blond-hair
framed; other times I can’t make
out color, just familiar scent.
slow-muscle movements;
temptation incarnate, even
through time, space, impossibility.
no matter the ease of explanation;
no, i don’t want to see. no,
not ever again. half-crazed
is crazed enough for me.

words in smoke chiseled in stone;
i guess everyone has to learn
people can hurt each other in ways
beyond physical violence. part of
growing up, it all seems
self-referential; once upon a time,
back before I built what I have,
I had something else; really a
creaky foundation & rotten plumbing.
house was probably destined to fall.

now; is that it?
lost somewhere between present-day
asphyxiation based narcotics and
yesterday’s dirty trash (did i ever tell you
i used to be a garbageman?) are
ashes and past-tense emotional
rescue. nothing to scavenge;
not now, certainly not later.

here is stability, solid ground, my eyes
on a pertinent soul who outshines
the environment by several shades
of bright light. ornamentation doesn’t
count for much, slightly more for
comfort, a like-new
pair of blueberry eyes.
that’s all it has to be; despite fears
to the contrary.

it could have been a truthful prospect;
of course i can’t give you any benefit
of doubt. last words might be angry,
upset & occidental;
maybe not. when you spoke my name,
passion was only an echo.
spoken again, all hatred
dripped in wax. nowadays
who knows? does it even
matter? I give up.
Good-luck going your way,
I’m gonna go mine.

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