trying too hard…

coma

in the midst of dual celebrations,
i lost a contact lens.
uneven eyesight should
have led me into the teeth
of a headache. i tried to
feel it; it just never came on.
one too many joy-sticks
later, it was buried under
mountains of smoke in between
dry swallowing something
i’d hoped would smother
restless thoughts.

i had to give up on vision;
the other contact was thrown
to the floor. better certainty
blind; it would make for dependable
mystery. movement was never
part of the agreement;
just squirm.

feels so good now;
felt so good then. such disparate
sensation seems the mark of fortune.
tying my hair back in either
case; push the button
just above the target.
we aren’t correcting for wind as such,
just making sure it feels good.
our heroes fought and died for this;
to deny either on moral grounds
would set a lousy precedent.

cigarettes mark the completion
of both acts; if not the feeling.
my own teachers being long
gone to continue spreading
wisdom, now it seems people look to me.
frightening to think of anyone following
me; but the pleasures of the
harbor call to everyone. we all
have to learn nirvana may be
a myth.

there are always occasional
glorious days. i can’t see
a fucking thing, but i know
it’s soft; a fine place
to lay my head while waitin’
on blood to spread glad tidings.
glasses wouldn’t make it
any better; just a little
more clear. things are good enough
without such straitjackets
as sight.

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10 Responses to “trying too hard…”

  1. Scent of my heart Says:

    “… there are always occasional
    glorious days… ” May you have many of them! Nice words!

  2. Glad to see glory in your life today…
    keep shining.

  3. signed .............bkm Says:

    “it was buried under
    mountains of smoke in between
    dry swallowing something
    i’d hoped would smother
    restless thoughts?

    my favor on lines…and looking for the headache…these are great images..bkm

  4. Crb,

    Reading you is like reading Life.. very close and very real..
    I read beyond words here- “movement was never
    part of the agreement; just squirm..”

    Very well written 😀 Like always.. 🙂
    xox

    • As always, way too kind! I appreciate the comment, especially the ‘very real.’ I try very hard to keep myself honest with my writing; shit, without that honesty, there would be no connection or emotion and that won’t do. Thanks much for the visit, always enjoyable.

      crb.

  5. A.B. Thomas Says:

    Slick write – It flows so well, it feels like listening to a conversation.

  6. “cigarettes mark the completion
    of both acts; if not the feeling.
    my own teachers being long
    gone to continue spreading
    wisdom, now it seems people look to me.
    frightening to think of anyone following
    me; but the pleasures of the
    harbor call to everyone. we all
    have to learn nirvana may be
    a myth.”

    Would be my favorite lines from the above. Your poetry is always so intense and powerful, bringing out truths of life we sometimes overlook, or just choose to ignore. Wonderful piece!

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