push me hard…

caspian

i reserve the right to pass out;
carte blanche folded in half
to be stuck in a pocket & pulled
out only
when desperate.
other than silver trays making
too much noise,
i’m all alone.

at home there are
rugs that sit convincingly
underfoot with each step,
walls that never tire of
holding up the roof
keeping rain from decimating
the electronics; &
everywhere familiar.
more nonconvertible currency
in memories; worth
almost nothing,
though some days
they breathe on my
behalf.

i reserve the right to pass out,
whatever else doesn’t much matter.
i’m scared & worried
but not desperate.
walking larger circles changes
everything i see & still
gets me nowhere. dragging
my left leg to the tune
of a broken radio,
i’m slowly turning as
if on a spit too far out
from the fire to notice
flame.

turn.
turn.
turn.

a monstrous song
hidden in static.
air conditioner-silence was better.

i could have given
over more fully, but i didn’t.
never really have.

gotta keep reminding myself,
everything goes to plan;
even when it doesn’t.
how else can anyone be convinced
they remain
on their own
righteous path.
all that said,
i reserve the right to pass out
as needed;
nothing more or less,
& only when desperate.

————————————–

Ever think you might have taken the wrong fork?

crb.

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One Response to “push me hard…”

  1. […] draft, original can be found here) I am of the opinion there is something else trying to elbow it’s way out of this, but I […]

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