just a bad dream…

infinity shot

she told me everytime
i looked into a mirror,
my smile got all mean &
my angryeyes shone too bright;
she’s swore “the effect is unnerving,
you ain’t you &
that crocodile smile.”

most of our wallglasses remained
veiled or covered their heads
to bow as i passed by, unwilling
to return my gaze;
balls tobe cut off any still willing. we’d
ensure domestic calm
by cutting the eye off at the source.

i’d explain, but baby,
“anything i say ‘s liable
to come out all wrong.
allstucktogether, weighing too fucking
much for you to carry,
even on your back.” i
ain’t trying to piss vinegar
in your direction;
it’ll pass but i think she’s
uncomfortable lookin’ at me
lookin’ at the mirror.

“those
realmen don’t do that”;
that’s
what she’d spat over her shoulder
before closing the door &
heading to california for
vitamin d andagoodfuckyou.

after she’d gone, i stalked
every scrap of mirror hangin’
off every wall. some animal
inside pushed me in front
of each;
mirrors charged forward
as i forced open my eyes &
smiled. all i could see
was some contemptible kid
smiling back at mirror monsters
lookin’ forward.

—————————-

Inspired by Ronnie Hawkins singing “Who Do You Love” and the mirror over my shoulder.

crb.

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12 Responses to “just a bad dream…”

  1. wow, what a joy to see you in this week…

    your piece is full of elements and flesh, a true poem with life.

    http://thursdaypoetsrallypoetry.wordpress.com/2010/11/08/my-sister-lives-too-far-away/

    here is one of my entries,
    a poetry award 4 you and thank you for your support on week 9 potluck fun.
    Enjoy!
    xxx

  2. ” i ain’t trying to piss vinegar
    in your direction; >> great lines indeed. Sad story here… ends on some self esteem returning for the protagonist/Narrative Voice (whether that’s you or not, ain’t my biz). Cut n’ paste gremlins have done some dirty and squashed some words together… no biggie, but felt this poem could have been maybe 70% of the length. A fair bit of redundant phrasing in there IMHO, if I’m honest. Its impact would have been greater is the essence was less cluttered by unnecessary words/phrases/lines. I won’t insult your considerable intelligence by pointing them out. Feels a bit like you posted this one is a hurry? IMHO could do with just another going over with a fine-tooth comb. Certainly in essence another winner from a great poet. Keep on, man

    Luke

    • Yeah, I am a wordy motherfucker at times, there is no doubt. Did you ever listen to a recording of “The Last Waltz” by The Band (you, the guys who backed up Dylan in the late 60’s, early 70’s I think? That is where the idea came from (George Thorogood also does a decent cover of the song, not as good as Ronnie Hawkins, but shit, that ain’t news.)

      The idea came quick, but the execution of turning such a question around was less than well done (IMHO) There is always editing to be done even after posting, I think of all the poems on my site as 2nd drafts, i.e. I have only edited once prior to posting. I do appreciate the ideas/critique, always looking to improve. I will swing through your site today in a bit and do some reading. In the meantime, somebody smoked the last of the “Blueberry Oh My God” and it looks like it is time to find more. (Yeah, that somebody was me… hahahaha) Hope all is well, thanks for stopping by!

      crb.

  3. the scenario is just overwhelmingly true and it repeats everywhere you turn..

  4. Scent of my heart Says:

    “those real men don’t do that” … maybe they do after all, but that’s not a reason to chase the road to California

    • hahahaha I am long done chasing. Been down that road three or four times; sort of a self-referenced experiential humor with a quizzical “did that just happen?” expression. Besides, there is nothing in California. The Beach Boys lied about most everything; at least Zappa was honest (but then he was Maryland born, which proves my point.) hahahahah

      crb.

      • Scent of my heart Says:

        Oh, believe me I so well know what’s in California, one big nothing, just air, lot’s of empty air haha And personally wouldn’t take the road to CA even if it’s the only road left

  5. thewhitebuffalowoman Says:

    Good poem-liked reading about a guy’s POV

  6. very intriguing.
    heart poems with artfully placed swears…

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