just a bad dream…

“infinity shot”

she told me everytime
i looked into a mirror,
my smile got all mean &
my angryeyes shone too bright;
she’s swore “the effect is unnerving,
you ain’t you &
that crocodile smile.”

most of our wallglasses remained
veiled or covered their heads
to bow as i passed by, unwilling
to return my gaze;
balls tobe cut off any still willing. we’d
ensure domestic calm
by cutting the eye off at the source.

i’d explain, but baby,
“anything i say ‘s liable
to come out all wrong.
allstucktogether, weighing too fucking
much for you to carry,
even on your back.” i
ain’t trying to piss vinegar
in your direction;
it’ll pass but i think she’s
uncomfortable lookin’ at me
lookin’ at the mirror.

“those
realmen don’t do that”;
that’s
what she’d spat over her shoulder
before closing the door &
heading to california for
vitamin d andagoodfuckyou.

after she’d gone, i stalked
every scrap of mirror hangin’
off every wall. some animal
inside pushed me in front
of each;
mirrors charged forward
as i forced open my eyes &
smiled. all i could see
was some contemptible kid
smiling back at mirror monsters
lookin’ forward.

—————————-

Inspired by Ronnie Hawkins singing “Who Do You Love” and the mirror over my shoulder.

crb.