from way back when…

call & connect

yeah, yeah. i finally worked up
enough leftover-guts;
made a phone call, as
if talking to indiscretion
could be so damn easy. whatever
it was; a few
seconds of laughter,
a casual glimpse
at my favorite scar, all
the same kinda thing.

pressed into the sunshine;
shown the light. still
not healing fast enough
for my taste.
staying back in the shadows
must be holding me back.

passed the half/covered mirror
on my way back outside
to smoke. pausing, even
staring
might have given me an answer;
i just never wanted to stop.

instead there’s an old-
fashioned cure in exchange
for never really knowing;
always laughing.
whether
or not
its my favorite scar;
a few seconds of deprecated
laughter is how i handle
all my best tragedies.

—————————————-

Rescued from an old notebook. If the date is to be trusted (and I wouldn’t trust me with dates) I wrote it back in 2003. It has been substantially edited and posted in the interest of keeping whatever I find. Sorry if quality is iffy; that was a long time ago.

crb.

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16 Responses to “from way back when…”

  1. signed .............bkm Says:

    thanks for pulling it out of the past….makes me want to light a cigarette and go out back, and look for scars….and I never have smoked, with my only scar above my eye …nice…bkm

    • You’re welcome, and thanks for reading! When it comes to scars, I’ve got a 4 inch scar over my spine, a 3 inch long scar where they pulled a non-cancerous tumor out of, and a few others from various accidents and adventures. I wouldn’t recommend the path to anyone else, but it has been good at times! As for that cigarette, well, I will join you as I am heading out to the balcony to light up as I type this. Thanks much for reading, and you’ve got quite the blog yourself. I enjoy your writing.

      crb.

  2. Free will – choice well made. A house built upon sand will not stand. Communication comes easily when intentions are good.

  3. Free will – good choice made. A house bult upon sand… Communication comes easly if one’s intentions are good.

  4. Sorry for the duplication, it did not appear the first time I clicked on “Say It”

    • No worries, shit happens. I suppose it matters more if you believe in free will. I happen to, but there’s always the chance this is scripted, or we’re living in a dream. Real communication is only easy if you are Leonard Cohen and can use words like a surgeon wields a scalpel. For the rest of us, it’s hard (sometimes harder when you DO have good intentions.) Just a thought.

      crb.

  5. You do have a point. Beginning to communicate with someone else on a personal basis, even if you DO have good intentions – is sometimes very much like sitting on a bench moving closer to one another little by little while looking down at one’s feet…

    • True that. Everything depends on trust. In my case, due to what we might charitably call historical disappointments I have a tough time with trust issues, but much like the rest of the world, you do what you can with what you got.

      crb.

      • Well, I know you wll be up for many more hours – so have a nice evening – you write very well, very quickly – I have to work myself up to writng letters, poems, and such.

      • Do you share what you write? If not, why not?

        Yes, assuming all goes according to plan, I’ll be up for quite a while. Not sure if I can write anything but shit tonight, we shall see. My mind is very cluttered at the moment; trying to untangle itself. If not, more tomorrow. Thanks for the compliments, as always.

        crb.

      • Yes, I suppose you could say that I share what I write. If the recipient is pleased – then that is a source of satisfaction and pleasure for me.

      • Well, that is good to here. Next time you share something, clue me in, I’d love to read it.

        crb.

  6. This was a great piece and yeah you took me down memory lane, of course it’s never easy and some scars do take forever to heal but they do heal eventually. I liked the part with the mirror…echoing back your reflection always brings more questions to mind. Thanks for stopping by and you’re welcome back anytime.

    Wild Rose~

    • Thanks for the kind words. GLad I was able to repay the poem of yours I enjoyed so much, and for the trip down memory lane. Looking forward to reading more of your writing down the road!

      crb.

  7. If you look backward, you’ll grow backward … have to do with discretion and then let go. At least, that’s what my elders always taught me.

    This is well done. Glad you pulled it out of your notebooks and posted it to share … I rather like ‘it’s my favorite scar” … a telling line … telling about all of us … favorite scars/sacred cows.

    Nice work!

  8. Thanks for the compliments. I like that line about looking backward and growing backward, although I think there are times to look back with no real danger. Enjoyed your site as well, I will continue to visit and read more of your work.

    crb.

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