long morning…

morning

desperation for an
18-hour
recovery coma.

not a chance.
desperation buys
get-by survival naps
& raccoon colored
eyes, not recovery.
sunrise race-pacing;
waiting on somethin’
i dreamt &
can’t remember.

unfulfilled
expectations are
a tinker’s damn.
alais asked henry
that same question; she
never got an answer.
henry was,
above all things
a motherfucker.

as for you;
it’d mean more
than gold
if you’d visit soon.
i”m running outta
cigarettes.

truth is
i need backup
like you wouldn’t
believe. it could be
anybody in the world;
i’m expecting you.

————————————————–

Assuming I can find the time to do more commenting as promised as well as write for a few minutes without the phone ringing, there will be a few new poems today. Errands must be run, but once we get done with the jack shit part of the day, I’ll have some announcements & changes in the way I am going to run TFBP. Hopefully, it will make things run somewhat more smoothly, but in reality the changes will just save me a few minutes here and there. We shall see.

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10 Responses to “long morning…”

  1. smoke to pass time and wait…
    love the sentence,
    playful yet witty poem!

  2. Survival naps and raccoon colored eyes. Yep, I’ve been there. Great piece.

  3. truth is
    i need backup
    like you wouldn’t
    believe. it could be
    anybody in the world;
    i’m expecting you

    I LIKE 🙂

  4. Thanks all. Just what kind of ‘popped out’ after I stumbled outta bed this morning. Appreciate all the compliments as always, and thanks for reading.

    crb.

  5. H2O buddy Says:

    Extraordinarily clever!

    • Thanks dude. I got robbed of my writing time yesterday so hopefully today I will be able to get a few more poems posted & maybe some prose. THanks for stopping by as always, much appreciated.

      crb.

  6. Strong in language and imagery. Strong in command of word and phrase. I like that you use, for example, ‘motherfucker’, but just once; there it has power. Overuse would render it meaningless and redundant. I like also how ‘I’m running out of cigarettes’ down-dresses their visit meaning more than gold. Unexpectedly selfish. Grit. God I can’t take any more flowery crap poetry hehe. You end well also. There are one or two words that could be stripped, I think, if you really went thru this with a fine-tooth comb and asked yourself is every single word earned its place. IMHO the semi-colon placement after ‘as for you’ (penultimate stanza) is out of place. A comma or colon would work grammatically, (or nothing, which would imply a comma), but a semi is misplaced there to my mind.

    Good stuff here though, I thoroughly enjoyed this motherfuckin’ poem.

    • Thanks for the compliments. I can’t take nay more flowery poetry either, having spent 24 hours commenting on various blogs and what not. I try very hard to keep the grit and blood in my poetry (I think you do the same) to keep it interesting for the reader as well as to say something that hasn’t been said a million times. Not easy to keep moving, but when poetry is all ya got, makes the decision a lot easier… hahahaha. I’ll play around with the grammatics you mentioned. I originally envisioned the semi-colon to indicate a different format when I am talking to the “you” in the poem. Glad you liked it, and you are right; you can use those lovely four letter words, but too much ruins the impact. Couldn’t agree more. Thanks again,

      crb.

  7. theres a quote i have madeup ” your always only a cigarette away from the shop ” ur frustration is pouring out into ur words Cheers!!!

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