personality profile…

personality profile

i read other
poets like an eagle
devours carrion.

they write
of important
matters; they bleed
or cry or cum
or smile or live
or die
over such
important matters.
war
or famine
or justice (or lack thereof)
or romance
in the look of an
imagined stranger
or spite an unrequited
love
and that is
all-important.

the mirror will
explain why i
can’t do that. there
is no grist in that mill;
stars twinkle because
a billion year old beam of light
is bound to flicker
somewhere between
here and there.
explanations are not
cruelty but freedom;
i cannot write of
such large things.

what do you see
when you look out on this
world? do you see
superficial magic
or can you connect
what you’ve been taught
in & out of class
into explanations
of what you see?

i am not deaf to
the beauty of my
own angels sensuality
any more than i can
be blind listening to
Frank Zappa play guitar.
it just isn’t in me
to share that depth
of beauty inherent
in both. this could
be a glorious place
to live;
but it isn’t in me
to write or even
speak of beauty
as more
than a very-
complicated
joke.

sadder jokes
out there still;
i know of
tears shed in death-camps
all over time & space.
there is enough brutality
& hatred to drive
a man crazy in the face
of such hugeness.
i can’t
destroy enough
of anything
to save anyone.

looking up at a
superstructure
i can’t affect,
let alone change;
i sit & watch.
eat when you can.
fuck when you can.
love when you can.
cry or shit when you need to,
laugh as much as you can;
i just can’t
write of such
large things.

i can devour
the carrion,
but i can’t create it.

—————————————————————–

I think I finally understand what Clint Eastwood meant when he said “A man’s got to know his limitations.” (That’s a ‘Magnum Force’ reference, but you get the idea.) I was trying to explain why I can’t do one thing and I did another. Apologies for the length. Just the normal Friday daydreams.

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11 Responses to “personality profile…”

  1. Scent of my heart Says:

    “i know of tears shed in death-camps all over time & space. there is enough brutality & hatred to drive a man crazy in the face of such hugeness.” – When you’ve had the tears, the brutality, the craziness a little bit of beauty and love can always do miracles, not huge miracles, but at least big enough to keep you sane …

    • Agreed. This poem was my reaction to reading too much social poetry. I try very hard not to put politics into poetry. Trusting any politician is like trusting a bank robber with your check card. But there is always love somewhere, and even a little bit is potent enough to overcome a lot in life.

      crb.

  2. belladonna23 Says:

    this was awesome. i sorta feel like im just another factory made imitation of what real poetry is sometimes, then i just embrace the fact that i don’t write because i feel like i have to “justify” the TRUE beauty and all the great and wonderful things out there, i write because i WRITE. nothing more and nothing less. thanks for this one, it hit where it hurts and i really needed that.

    here’s a new one i wrote earlier, what do you think??
    http://belladonna23.wordpress.com/2010/10/30/morse/

    • Sorry for the delay responding. I am thankful for the high compliment, and hope you can see that you are not a factory made poet but rather a creative voice with something to say. I know how long it takes to develop the confidence in your own voice, but from reading your work in the past (I will check out your poem later tonight, promise!) you have as much right to call yourself a poet as any of us do. As for subject matter, sometimes I read poets who exhibit real concern for the BIG issues in life and while I greatly admire that connection to the state of humanity, I am not capable of writing based on idealism. I prefer a more expressionist connection to the world at large.

      Thanks again for reading, will certainly check out your poetry and leave you a comment tonight. Keep your head up, there is always more to learn for all of us! We are in this together and the more we all try and help one another, the better things will get. Just my 2 cents. Best of luck,

      crb.

  3. Watched the We Concert tonight presented from Vancouver – Me to We, the power of many acting as one to bring about positive change – nothing dead about that!

  4. Ah, the number of times people ask me to write of certain topics, and all I can tell them that I don’t feel inspired enough by such things to write about them. More often than not, when I do try to write about them, my poetry comes out lame. I can completely understand your feelings in this poem, I’ve felt the same so often. Though I do try to write about these huge important topics when I can, if I can.

    • Yeah, very much agree with your point. Dealing with such overwhelming topics only seems to work when it can be done from an experiential connection to the issue, and many itmes that is simply ot possible. I am glad this poem seems to have struck home for so many people, it was one of the harder poems I think I have written, but I am pleased with the way it came out. Thanks as always for reading, I will have to pay you a visit to read more of your fantastic poetry. Take care and keep writing!

      crb.

  5. I’ve dabbled on poems that deal with those big issues, but often feel they read as forced as opposed to inspired. I find that writing what I understand or what to understand leads to a better poem, because that is what i know. I cannot pretend to concern myself of the plight of a civilization too far from where I am…those are too big and too faraway.

    Beautiful poem. Interesting idea.

    • I have a very similar problem when writing on big time social issues/politics/etc. That was actually the reason I approached this poem from the angle I chose. Rather than grind out a meaningless screed against injustice, I wanted to explore the idea behind speaking out on topical issues while not trying to rewrite “Masters of War” or some other Phil Ochsian style poem. (Don’t get me wrong, I love love Bob Dylan and Phil Ochs and the rest of the protest rock crowd, just can’t write that type of poem.)

      Very much enjoyed reading through your site earlier today. You never fail to amaze with your poetry. Hope all is well up in your corner of the world, take care! Thanks as always for swinging through and for the compliment. Sorry it took so long for me to reply, but your comments and support are greatly appreciated.

      crb.

  6. I mistyped this website and luckily I found it again. presently am at my university I added this to favorites so that I can re-read it later regards

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