tangential recriminations…

tangential recriminations

flayed, drawn out & exhausted
by too many Quixote mind
games to recall. too long tryin’
to find the far end of a
now-ya-see-it-now-you-don’t
kinda rainbow. i’m thinking
windmills & dragons but it’s
almost always the wrong ones.
none of me could buy it; how
the fuck is anyone else
s’posed to?

couldn’t be sure i was
crazy until the most beautiful
woman in the world told me so.
got spun out on an idea i forgot
about before the laughter squeezed
out a tear. turned out everything
had been shot to shit months ago.
seems like irony searches me out
almost as much as i go lookin’
for it.

faraway end of the rainbow kept
movin’ farther away but inspiration
only intensified. she’s right;
expanding universes never
got any closer.

but me?
well, i got 87.5 per cent
soaked on a fool’s quest under-
taken after disregarding my
last bit of sacrosanct idealism.
across this dyspeptic
landscape it ain’t talent so
much as luck.

lucky for me my head was floating
just above cloud nine in blatant
disregard of the facts on the ground;
my top eighth or so was
dry; anything under
the neck-line will dry out. there’s
benefit even in disaster. drop
a coin in the box outside the temple
for whatever greek deity
looked out for the satisfactorily
fucked. any of ’em will work.

—————————————————

Apologies for the length. This poem has officially set a new personal record for number of drafts taken to pull something halfway readable out of what started as a 500 word opus on the subject of nothing. True to my word (inside comment to answer a ? someone asked me about a month ago) there is your poem (with about 50,000 kilo’s of guilt, desire, & lascivious irreverence!) The poems that I am in the midst of writing & editing this week delve into all kinds of strange situations arising from mis-communication and how it effects literally everything else. Haven’t decided if they are tight enough to work as a collection of poems like before but I could easily see something much smaller but along the same vein coming down the pike. Well, onto the next poem. If I owe you a visit & a comment, please bear with me. I’d swear on something but nothing comes to mind to swear on. Us atheists are always fucking shit up for everyone else, I know. Anyhow, visits ASAP.

I think Benjamin Linus said it best when told John Locke; “… destiny, John, is fickle bitch.” Thankfully, that is what you would expect chasing irony too hard and for too long to know any better.

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37 Responses to “tangential recriminations…”

  1. Sometimes I have a hard time trying to understand the meaning behind your words, but somehow there is always something profound hidden in your words.

    “faraway end of the rainbow kept
    movin’ farther away but inspiration
    only intensified. she’s right;
    expanding universes never
    got any closer”

    You see, that is just about the most profound thought that I’ve come across in a while.

    As for luck more than talent, I’ve always felt that way about myself. Just for me it was recently a 94.16 but it got me nothing. Haha, life is funny.

    I am ranting now 😛 apologies

    Oh and I totally understand that thing about atheists, being one myself. Oh well, they’ve got to put up with us

    • No apologies required @ TFBP. Ever. For anything. (Site policy dictated by the boys from the home office, obviously.) I rant constantly. Most of my acquaintances tell me I do that a lot myself. Whaddya gonna do? Rant the fuck on!

      There is actually a very simple framework underlying this poem, but I had to cover it with a more complex wording & diction than I might have otherwise chosen. That said, thanks very much. I have been called many things lately, but you are the first to say ‘profound.’ I’m humbled & most appreciative. As a thank you, here is a link to a fine song from a man who has writing & codeine in his blood. A man always welcome to sing us a song and make us feel better about everything.

      Thanks for the visit, take care!

      crb.

  2. I like the start ..with the Quixote minds and the idea of the windmills that we all very often find wrong …And yes you’re right, there’s benefit even in disaster …

    Dropped many coins here and there, you know the kind of coins they say will make you return to a certain place … but so far I have, to the places I don’t really wanted and the only place I want to return to it seems so distant …

    Anyhow, I enjoyed being here, I’ve missed your writing!

    • Thanks kindly for the compliments over the past few days. Took me a while to recognize the Hansel & Gretel ref. in your comment. Fucking awesome!

      I have been writing offline trying to refine my voice and building poetry that doesn’t piss me off when I re-read it a week later. I like writing about everything from break-ups to cock-ups & fuck-ups, but way too much of the first and not nearly enough of #’s 2 & 3. They require a person to actually go out and create from start to finish, and I’m tired of watching everyone else. I wanna create too.

      No way to win somebody over faster than telling them “you were missed.” Back atcha, and I will be around more as life again expands, cause as we all know, it can’t contract forever! Thanks for the visit, more poetry later tonight,

      crb.

      • Scent of my heart Says:

        Hansel and Gretel? /smiles/ I didn’t think of the kids throwing behind breadcrumbs so they can find the way home, honestly, but I like how you came up with this. You’ve got some incredible thinking, I must say, but you know that already!

        I was actually referring to all these tourist places with fountains or cages and a myth that if you drop a coin there, you will return to the place.

        There was one tourist guide that told me, don’t waste your money, the guards will come to collect it after the attraction/ the Pyramids in this case/ is closed and they will spend it on beers or poker … It was the last place I left a coin, the magic was somehow gone.

        I guess to return to a place is not defined by a coin and a wish made out in a moment of weakness …

        You just make yourself feel better and I personally will still be here to read.

      • Loved that coin story. However, as I commented below, that does not make it bad because someone cleans up the coins then ties one on with the money. Good karma to help an unseen friend in need. You’re correct in that place is defined more by your own reaction to the geography/culture/etc. than a contributing to the guards nightly 24 pack. We’re all trying to get by, no reason to make it any harder than it has to be. Know what I mean? Till we meet again,

        crb.

  3. Baby Turtle to Shimmering Fish Says:

    Liked this one. It wasn’t by any means too long.

    • You sure? It was only a few stanza’a but compared to my usual style each line felt much longer. (Wow, a Freudian slip in writing. This is going to be a good day!)

      See above comment for the overall picture of my strange wanderings that are going to get a lot stranger in my search for material. It’s fun being an amateur psychonaut. You get to see things from such a weird POV. Love it.

      Well, gotta return an overdue library book and shit like that, but back shortly. Thanks for continuing to read even in my days of wandering. Always deeply appreciated. Hope all is well, take it easy,

      crb.

      • Baby Turtle to Shimmering Fish Says:

        In the age of “sound bites” (Is that phrase now out of date?) everything probably seems too long, but what would we know about the past if writers had not taken the time and used the words needed to describe it? You are communicating with someone who writes poems that are 10 or more pages long – my true measure of length is more along the lines of the Canterbury Tales. Hahaha!

      • Excellent point; the only reason I was worried about length is that mpst people who read poetry read tons of it; get too long winded and readers get bored (at least in my style.) Too funny about the CT’s; when I was 12 I read the entire Warren Commission report on the JFK killing. Long is a damn gov’t report! Not sure if soundbite is out of date; still seems a valid term in the context. Well, back to editing if I wanna get the next one posted tonight. Take care BT,

        crb.

  4. welcome sharing your poems with our poetry potluck today..

    you got talent, keep it up.

    hope you well..
    keep sharing…

    • If you wanna link this poem to this weeks rally or Potluck, by all means feel free. I love reading and sharing with all of the great poets who gather at JingleNation (you should patent that one soon!) Lemme know if you ever need a poem, there is always something laying around waiting for eyes & minds. Thanks for everything,

      crb.

  5. ha. drop a coin for me as well on your way out…gotta rain to get the rainbow…but…this one kept me all the way through…not long at all…nice one shot.

    • That is a great story, ain’t it? I won’t deny I’m a cynical prick most of the time, but flipping some beer money to a few thirsty full-timers seems like a great way to get karma back on your side. Glad it didn’t come off as one of those long scrambled poems that tries to go 3 directions at once & instead goes nowhere. I think all the extra editing really paid off.

      Well, I’ll ramble on, but thanks for the comment and visit. Bend your arm for me and I shall do the same for you. Reciprocity can be fun. Hope all is well,

      crb.

  6. I thought it was just long enough to say what you meant…constructive irony. I think if we swapped places I’d have probably sworn more…and seriously all those draughts paid off. You’ve got the colloquial rhythm pegged…I’ll throw sone of this coins this side of the pond just see if the meet in the middle somewhere.

    • I do love swearing; but like many things in life, if overused it loses the power to catch people off guard. If you ever hear me speak you’d be shocked that most of my words are 4 letters and often directed randomly around the room (yes, that’s a joke!)

      The rhythm in my poetry is often dependent upon the music I am listening to when I am writing. I’ve noticed I tend to write different ways depending on a lot of factors; music seems to be the biggest single factor.

      Even if the coins don’t meet, we already have. That is success on any scale. Take it easy and thanks again for swinging through. Feel free to be un-repressed here. Trust me, it’s not like any of this is real (in the sarcastic sense of the term!) Good writing to you & I both.

      crb.

  7. “couldn’t be sure i was
    crazy until the most beautiful
    woman in the world told me so.”

    It’s okay to be crazy. For us writers it’s probably a requirement. 🙂

    Nice One Shot! Plenty to reflect on here. Great job!

    • Thanks for the visit Nomar. Agreed on the crazy; without it we can at best be normal and that would be a far worse fate. Glad you enjoyed the compliment, and have a good one,

      crb.

  8. I don’t think it was too long at all–a bit diffuse and rambling, but it was that kind of poem with those kinds of thoughts–all very coherent to itself, really. I liked esp. the stanza endings where you impart a little hard-earned timeless wisdom: ‘…seems like irony searches me out/almost as much as i go lookin’/for it…” I can definitely relate to that. All the others are equally good. And thanks a lot for the HWIII clip–I hadn’t ever caught him before. I wore out his dad’s records before he turned into an embarrassing Sarah Palin freak…(they say the booze and drugs do catch up with your eventually.’Too many highs and too many lows…’) Still listen to his grandfather.

    • I dearly love HW1 & 3. I useed to think Jr. was the black sheep before I heard Hank III for the first time. He is the perfect middle ground between Austin Alt-country & metal. If you dig him, check out the Old 97’s or the Drive By Truckers. Both also great. Fred Eaglesmith is a little more low-key but the best writer short of Guy Clark or maybe John Hiatt. (Sorry, you nailed me with a a music comment… fuckin’ love it.)

      BTW…

      “they say the booze and drugs do catch up with your eventually.’Too many highs and too many lows…”

      Naw. If you live long enough on the champions diet you get turned on to crazy, and SP is bug-fuck crazy if nothing else. (No, I am NOT a dem either. Politicians exist only to screw as many as possible for as long as possible.) TFBP is strictly non-ideological; yet another in a long list of missives sent down by the home office to be pinned to the cubicle tack-board.

      Thanks for the compliments & visit. Always good to hear from ya & hope all is clear skies and smooth sailing. Take care,

      crb.

  9. And the rest of the satisfactorily fucked said “Amen.”

  10. This is great. This bit: “lucky for me my head was floating just above cloud nine in blatant
    disregard of the facts on the ground;…” Oh, yes.

    Yours is the first blog I have encountered since venturing out into this cyberworld where the comments were as thought-provoking as the post. I’ve signed up.

    • Thanks for the kind words! Glad you find it to your liking. TFBP really only has a couple of rules; don’t be normal, boring, or sober and everything else should be OK. Both myself and the boys at the home office try to keep it interesting and hope that will pique the curiosity of any poetically minded soul kind enough to wander in and read through the rantings.

      You are gratefully welcomed to the fray; feel free to question anything and make any comments you feel it is right to make. Always glad to know another friend, so hope you find the poetry to your enjoyment. Take care, & thanks again,

      crb.

  11. I do not think it to long…the second stanza my fav…how irony always seaches one out…have not been here for a week or so…so glad to stop in…good to know your head is still above cloud nine….and not water.. personally I avoid water…except to drink it…and do not give up on the windmills…they are a good investment…cheers…bkm

    • Well, welcome back. I don’t mind the water but the clouds are more fun; that much I’m sure of. Glad to hear from you, and mind the irony. It can bite you in the ass faster than you’d think. Of course, with the right frame of mind, it can even be fun! I’ll keep the windmills in mind and you take it easy. Nothing better than that. Thanks for the visit and take care,

      crb.

  12. I liked this a whole bunch. The first stanza could have been a poem about my last half hours screwing around with an hp printer that has …the bed. So I identified with this work and this form which really is one of the ways (as you know) that I work best; still it’s always noble to try out new voices and new forms. I was right there at the temple with ya! Gay @beachanny

    • Always glad to please. I’d thought about breaking the first stanza off but instead ended up with 2 poems made out of the all the stanzas this monster originally included. Second one is posted above I think (not 100% on the whole ‘memory’ thing…lol) Good to hear from ya, and hope all is well by the beach.

      crb.

  13. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 🙂 deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, still waiting on your book and I shall read it daily I think…

    I love this one CF, cool! Everyone else has said the deep meaningful thoughts, duh! That leaves me with WOUCH DAMN IT YOU ARE AWESOMELY GOOD! lol
    thanks for the visit btw

    • You are too much (which is kinda ridiculous for me to say because I don’t believe in concepts like ‘too much’) Still trying to find a way to re-start the book, not too sure how I can get the plot wrapped around the characters. I keep wondering if there is a hybrid style somewhere between poetry and prose that I can use, but nothing really moving yet on that front. Promise, when I have it ready to share you’ll be the first to know! Till we cross paths again later, take care.

      crb.

      • not ridiculous… we all have our limits and don’t recognize them until we come upon them…toodles

        How about creating your own style! Is that impossible? Is innovation dead? Do we have to follow the norm or a blending of previously accepted forms for your work to be “acceptable/accepted”? I wonder what Homer would say…Just questioning as usual…whatever style you choose, I am sure the outcome will be a cool read, whether you are happy with it is another matter altogether…

        toodles

  14. brilliant – i loved it..
    ..now-ya-see-it-now-you-don’t
    kinda rainbow… THIS was fantastic!!!!

  15. haha! That rainbow (if it even exists) is one helluva runner! Some very deep thoughts in here, CRB.. 🙂
    And then, seeing where they spurred from (that top 1/8, which you claim as empty), I am forced to think what would come out if it weren’t empty! 😉
    But seriously, those gazillion drafts sitting as growing files on the laptop make me wanna edit them… but I never do! I just dump them for the time being.. for the fear that won’t even make sense to me 🙂

    Anyway, I loved/love your work! They are some real chewy food for thought!
    As for what Linus said to Locke, hmm… HE ROCKS!!! It’s tough to decide who’s the “wiser” of the two…

  16. Yeah Any one of them will work.. and ofcourse after your record try to make it perfect, it worked too.. I enjoyed reading this one.. thanks for sharing…

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay

  17. Great verse and very well penned. I enjoyed it a lot.
    thanks for sharing…

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay

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