more than 48…

more than 48

it was only our 56th day & i knew
i’d hurt her by chance as well
as i knew she’d never admit feeling any
pain. we’re too far gone for any kindness
to soften the harder edges of what
used to be; i’m already bleeding
at the edge of tears knowing i let
a princess down.

i couldn’t take her where we shoulda
been; my car wouldn’t start & i for-
got my wallet in the coldest bedroom,
collecting silence like souvenirs,
(poems are free to the public)
i can’t sleep on this lonely night.

i told the mirror it was bad luck &
piss-poor timing. i shaved off more
than 48 hours of stubble at 3 a.m.
lookin’ for a smile that had disappeared
hoping it would dramatically reveal itself.
i ain’t angry, just disappointed in a
smile i couldn’t coax out of hiding.
been more than 48 hours on high alert,

she has no interest in Cartesian
dilemmas, even if she worries about
it without knowing what she’s worried
about. forget that fucking Gordian
knot; whether alex cut through it
or not, 56 days have passed & the sun
shines down as the earth rotates. all
that’s wrecked will be fixed with
sleep & the days last cigarette
smoked down to the nub.

———————————————————–

Thomas Paine once wrote “These are the times that try mens souls.” I’d always taken him at his word, but lately it would seem to be far more of a metaphysical than metaphorical comment on the trials of life. Ah well, you do the best you can & hope for the best, just like everything else in life. Off to bed; two days in a row is a real killer & tomorrow is already here…

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3 Responses to “more than 48…”

  1. well my love thank your for an accepted but not needed apology. You are awesome and how did we know that the the place was gonna flood two nights in a row… and that you would loose your wallet. I love you Dearheart
    and if you try to hug me at 6pm and i am not around it means I have been raptured…….. or injured somewhere in this apartment.. ❤

  2. I think this is my second favorite from you. the “missing” with the dragons and the demons has the first place, but this one here is … honesty, pain, forgiveness … brilliant combination. And you know, a real princess doesn’t feel let down when she really loves, and as I can see you’ve got a real princess. Things happen to destroy a well planned day, maybe just to test your strength … but as long as you smile and have a line to turn into a brilliant poetry, life will smile back at you! Once again, I loved this one! Will be reading it again and again!

  3. I like this one. It sounds more like the you I used to read, somehow. that second verse is brilliant.

    if it’s indeed flooding 2 nights in a row that’s trying your soul, my condolences. been there, and i recall pretty exactly that it was no fun at all.

    best,
    –jsl

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